I'm trying to plan my funeral, but it's not going very well. For example, all my friends like different music. What am I supposed to do?! They can't all sit there and mourn my passing if one of them will listen to nothing but KISS. Imagine trying to think about the dead with "I was made for loving you" playing in the background.

I know I for one would have to struggle not to do something wacky when it came to the "In the darkness" line...

Maybe I should just for something completely insane, like "Gimme Head". That way everyone feels awkward and no one gets left out!

Is there really any truly appropriate music for a funeral? I'd feel comfortable with [band name removed by the government] or something along those lines, but maybe I'd be better off with the Smurfs theme tune.

These are the thoughts that go through my head whenever I try to plan ahead, and it just means one thing really...
I can never die!
What a brilliant solution.